There You Go Making My Heart Beat Again.

I know I am terrible and didn't update this weekend. Truth be told, I had kind of a difficult time rebounding from Friday. I finally sat down and filled out my paperwork for my appointment at IU, which took me a little while to get through. Then my "old" OB called. And I sat there afterward and cried for a good half an hour or so. She called to tell me that she was going to miss me and she apologized for not being there for my "final" appointment. She said she had been thinking of me and to please keep in touch with her so that she could help in any way possible. It was just a tough thing for me and just another step in that confirmation process. 

Filling out the paperwork for IU was more difficult than I thought it would be. I assumed it was just an initial appointment, but when I got the paperwork it was noted I was scheduled for an "extensive ultrasound and fetal echo" that day as well. It just knocked the wind out of my sails temporarily. All I could do when filling out that paperwork was say "I can't believe I am really doing this. I can't believe this is real." But it is. And I promise I am coming to terms with it all, but every now and again I get these little setbacks. These little flicks in the face of our new reality that knock me down a peg or two.

And although it is a little late, here is the 25 week belly picture I promised you all:

please excuse my grungy attire - it was comfy to work in

The good news is that in working through my "funk" this weekend, I have the nursery nearly complete. I still need to finish up the last bit of the dresser and allow it to cure for a few days before its sealed with Safecoat Acrylacq, but its looking mighty awesome. I really can't wait to see it all finished and in its place. Everything in that room is just perfect to me. Its such a peaceful, calming space, which is exactly what I was going for. I love every inch of it and can't wait to show it off to you all. I thought about posting some teaser pictures, but I think I might just wait til the whole thing is done because it just doesn't do it justice posting it in bits and pieces. So I promise those photos will be coming soon!

In the meantime, we spent a nice weekend just relaxing. Some of you may or may not know that Jonathan was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis back in January. He had a follow up appointment to check on his liver and such, since the medication he is on is a chemotherapy agent known to be tough on the liver. He has also been having a lot of numbness in his hands and fingers, which he wanted to check on. His liver enzymes were elevated, which means he needs an ultrasound on his liver just to make sure all is well. In addressing the numbness and lack of motion in his hands, his doctor said the inflammation in his joints can cause carpal tunnel like symptoms. So he is going to an occupational therapist on the 8th (the same day as our first appointment at IU) and getting splints for his hands to use while at work and when doing activities involving a great deal of movement from the joints in his hands and fingers. So its been another eventful week to say the least.

Before I wrap it up, I just had to share a little video clip with you. Riley talks about Lukas all the time. I mean all.the.time. He knows I have been working on Lukas' "bed" and dresser. He knows Lukas is in my belly and he constantly tells me Lukas isn't here yet. We do our "love you train" quite frequently, where Riley will say "love you mommy, love you daddy, love you Hayden." Well, now he's added a new name to that mix. My heart melts when he says "love you Lukas." So in the spirit of being gushy and loving on my little boy who isn't feeling so hot today, I had to share with you all those three beautiful words - "love you Lukas." Everytime I hear those words, the lyrics of Sugarland play in my head - "there you go making my heart beat again" - because that's exactly what it is. It makes my heart beat stronger and prouder. P.S. - Sorry the video is sideways. I forgot how to correct it - whoops.

As always, please keep praying and thinking of our little Lukas. Your prayers and words mean so much to me and they keep me strong!